Things I Love

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Since I'm in a never ending creative rut, I thought i would just put lots of different things that inspire me together so that I can hopefully gain some themes.

Music/ Music Videos
I feel quite inspired by music on a daily basis. I love just listening to music in my room & staring out of the window getting lost. I also love watching the weather & the clouds while I get lost. I think this is why a lot of inspiring music to me is quite mellow, even though I love all kinds of music.

The Staves -
My Dad showed me this video over Christmas, and there's something about the harmonies & environment with which they are singing that makes me just want to create. It just takes me to a calmer place.

Birdy - Shelter
I've always liked this video for the atmosphere & colours.

Florence & The Machine - What Kind of Man & Lover to Lover
I feel like I like these videos for similar reasons. Florence is my favourite musician, and I think it's because her songs feel quite powerful & very feminine. I love the soft but large sound she has, and I like these two videos because again the colours, but they just feel like short poetic stories that capture the songs well. I also love the dancing in What Kind of Man.


London Grammar - Nightcall


Lorde - Yellow Flicker Beat


Lana Del Rey - Blue Jeans


Ralfe Band - Big Head

I've been wanting to make a film around this song for a long time, & I feel almost happy to try & obtain some kind of copyright as I have met the writer so I feel like it's somehow easier? But I find this piece of music really inspiring. If I don't use it, it will be an inspiration for a potential to make my own music, or try to find composers/existing music.

Documentaries 










Films/TV
Pride
Cucumber/Banana/Tofu

Test for insomnia

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For my insomnia idea, I am really wanting to use natural light and or create the look of natural light. 
The idea is really a love for natural light & sound, so I have taken a couple of photos to try & get some of my visions out of my head basically!








I will keep updating this post as I collect old photos i used to take, because I got into a habit of taking photos of the sunrises when I used to stay up all night. It was kind of like a token of being able to stay up all night, and it's really where this idea has come from. I would also like to create more of a moodboard/soundscape. 

Re-Write Up of Ideas

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So, i'm going to try & maintain my focus through the process of smaller projects so that I don't get overwhelmed, focus on smaller stages rather than the bigger picture, & have a range of finished products for my portfolio.
In August 2013, I made a video everyday for a month. This helped me to constantly not question what I was making, and just decide to make. I feel like this is a good way for me to be able to produce work, and I have decided to try & focus on a project a week. This helps me to create bigger projects then the August time, but also give me a time frame to work with & also a structure.
If this doesn't work, then I will try to do them in two weeks, & focus more on a few projects but for now, I am going to try the week.

Project Ideas/Starting points for weekly projects:


Anxiety -
I feel like I should really make something related to Anxiety. I've explored this before & I feel like it is important to shine a light on mental illness as well as being able to project personal experiences of my own onto the screen. I don't want it to be too sorrowful, and I actually have multiple ideas associated with mental illness and anxiety, so I have a few options. 
Portrait -
A fragmented narrative exploring the personal experience of having a mental illness.
Experimental piece, possibly for installation.

Documentary
Piano

This idea is to do with the pianos that are sat in St Pancras & Brighton Station. This idea was discussed with my mum as she commutes to Brighton & says about how much the pianos give a nice atmosphere to the station. I had an idea to document this as I like the fact that it can bring out creative abilities in people that you would have otherwise just walked past. I also like that it shows a nicer side to the usual boring commute.
Since having this idea, i've since found out about a bigger project called Play Me, I'm Yours which is a project all over the world placing pianos into different locations. There are already documentaries on pianos in different areas which did put me off for a while, but i still think that if i did this project, I could bring my own interpretation on it.
My only concern about this is the fact that it would require a crew and also a bit more preparation than the smaller projects. I feel like this could actually work as a main project, but I am just not sure about committing to this, since I am having such a lack of confidence lately. I do like the idea though. 

 Short Film/Piece
I have all the ideas I had at the beginning of this year, and I still like them but i keep being swayed more by atmospheric pieces rather than the more conventional narrative. I want to project feelings more than statementing my intent with dialogue. I also don't feel so confident writing dialogue, so                                                             i think this is where it stems from.
At the moment, I have themes rather than ideas. I keep picturing a kind of slow motion dancing to a record scenario with a era attached to it. Kind of a care free attitude/young summery dancing like you                            just don't care attitude. I want to do something related to that. 

I also have an idea about insomnia. It's mostly to do with the silence of the night, and the calmness of sunrise that I always used to enjoy when I couldn't sleep. My brain would be so busy. I'd spend the entire night on my laptop, watching things, dancing, feeling like my brain just wouldn't stop, and then the sun would rise & i'd feel this sense of calmness. So I had a picture in my mind to explore this with an actress, using sound & light to tell the story (i know that sounds strange.)


Dance
I've been interested lately in dance. I think this is partly to do with not doing a dance piece in the second year, and also it fits quite well with my ideas mostly being about themes or feelings. I don't have too many ideas on the dance front, but it is something I am interested in. Especially if I involved                                                     myself in a more musical project. 
Ballet - There's a potential for a ballet dancer thanks to Edrei. If I come up with a concept to go with                                                           this, i'd be really interested. 

 Interviewing the Public
I've always expressed an interest in this, and this kind of applies for the piano idea. I just like exploring the lives and ideas of every person on this earth. I feel like everyone has something powerful to say, and using film to be able to show this would be really exciting for me. This was kind of inspired a little of the project I did in the first year involving interviewing the public about London. It made me realise that you can get such interesting insights into the public, whereas usually you                      would never know anything about them. They all had such interesting stories.
Nature
As I always like making films involving nature both for the course & in my spare time, I think it would be good for me to continue this theme. I like making pretty picturesque atmosphere films, and I have the idea of making 'Postcards' of different places depending on where I can go. Either it will be places that I am close with/have memories of, or I will want to visit places I haven't been to before. This includes the Lake District & Isle of Arran (where my Dad has just moved to). Obviously this would involve more planning, but I thought it would be nice as I have wanted to explore more anyway & i think it fits both my interests & one of the paths i'd like to take (doing nature/landscape style filmmaking). 

Installation
Me & Edrei discussed this one. Basically, a two screen installation/film involving landscapes & macro. This came from a discussion about my macro photography & how it's interesting that so much is going on when you really look. The idea is to have one screen just focused on the landscape, & the other on a very small macro percentage looking into the living world beneath. 

An update

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I've been spending a lot of time focusing on dissertation lately, so i haven't been able to fully focus on documenting my creative process on here.
I've gone through a lot.
I am just involved in the lighting of See You Soon, although I have mentioned that I can be of assistance on camera if need be as I did the training. I am looking forward to filming, i think it will be a good learning experience and ultimately fun! I think all the paperwork can sometimes distract from that, so. I am also looking forward to being able to prepare more next week, after my dissertation.

For Alexs project, I helped him film an interview with himself and then with his friend Adam.
I felt that the shoot went quite well, although we did have a discussion about how his film's message might be a little confusing. I think it helped him to realise and reflect on what he's done so he can improve in the long run.
I will include a longer detailed explanation soon, along with photographs.

In terms of my project/s, i've been mainly focusing my attention on a documentary. My issue at the moment is trying to balance an idea strong enough & close to my heart, but also able to be made within the short time frame I know have. I have been watching lots of documentaries, and still strongly like the idea of a portrait of somebody doing something out of the ordinary or helping people. But i need to be able to gain a relationship with the person before shooting, so it's hard to try and think of an idea and then get a good enough organised piece in time for the deadline. I do have options for people I know, but it's working out whether they will be good enough and connect well enough to me and the audience.

I still like the idea of interviewing and visualsing, and I have an idea at the moment of using Valentines Day as a basis for an exploration of consumerism and love. I want to interview people's opinions on valentines, while showing lots of objects you can buy, as well as couples etc. I haven't fully decided how this will completely look, but if i decide on this project, it will be as a smaller focused project in which for me to create something short & fun. I can interview for longer than the valentines timeframe (so next two weeks) but buy the products needed for the shoot & visualise it now.

I also have ideas about doing more promo videos for places, although I haven't approached anyone just yet as I am not 100% sure it's exactly what I want to do. I think it will benefit me in the job world, but i am also interested in emotion and human connection with documentary so it's trying to balance that.

I also still have cravings for a short film piece. I know that it will be hard to try to do in the short time, but I want to do something simplistic but also have a good strong message.
I am influenced in part by this piece, which I think is simple but says so much about society and the need for likes online taking over the real world. I myself have witnessed people doing this, so I find it to be quite powerful, but also satirical.

ASPIRATIONAL from Matthew Frost on Vimeo.

I am driving myself to make firm decisions within the next week, while balancing my dissertation. I want to make things I am proud of, but also are emotionally and morally something I want to connect with the audience and send out a good message. I also want it to be visually pleasing and well put together, so balancing all these things is hard. I will get through it though.

Little bits & pieces

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I make little videos like this a lot, just montage with music, as i find it to be an easy process to play with composition & editing.


Also took a few photos over the past few months.

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There's a few more on my flickr, and I usually have more on my computer too. I just put my personal favourites online.

See You Soon - Scene analysis for my roles

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                                        1             INT. LIVING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER    2
We see PEARL (45), slim build, her NHS uniform too large for her; evident bags under her eyes and a straight face. She is knelt down next to the COUCH with a PREGNANT WOMAN, THEA (28) laying down.
Pearl is holding a DOPPLER in hand, moving the Doppler closer to Thea’s head, the babies heartbeat heard beating away.
Thea listens in wonder.
THEA
(anxious) Is that                              good?
Pearl, looking slightly distant forces a smile and replies.

                                        PEARL
You have a perfectly healthy child. She has a strong heartbeat.

The sound of the heartbeat increases as Pearl focuses on the display.
SOUND - 
Living room - 
Birds outside, traffic passing, general outdoors atmopsheres. Also any noises such as television, humming from the kitchen or appliances. 
Pearl - Rustle of the fabric of her outfit as she moves (especially as it is too large), movement of the carpet under her knees as she moves, gripping of the doppler in her hand and any adjustments she makes to her posture, the doppler itself, both breathing, if thea moves, the sound of the fabric of the couch. 
The heartbeat needs to be dominant but not too overwhelming. It could even be in the background as they are speaking and then brought to a higher level once the shot focuses on the display. 
Then postioning for appropriate recording for dialogue and making sure that it is a clear and undisturbed recording (outside noises etc)
LIGHTING - 
The scene is day (as mentioned just before), so a light natural glow on each woman, needing to focus on their position as to how the light will bounce on each of them. Need to use the light to effect how Pearl is perceived, especially if she is meant to look tired. Need to have appropriate lighting for the doppler, so can clearly see the information & making sure the audience understands what it is. 
FOCUS - 
Not much movement in this scene, so wouldn't be much of a focus apart from potentially if the shot was to focus more on the doppler as it is moving around Thea. Also if Pearl is shown to kneel at the beginning of the scene. 


Reflection - 
Analysing a scene can show me just how much focus has to be done to each role, and to be honest, it is a little overwhelming. Especially sound needs to have a full focus on it, which is why we are in discussions to get some help. You have to really think of every single sound there could possibly be to make it seem more realistic, so it will be a hard task. 

Indecisive Installation - Word Association

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I think I need to focus more on a definitive word or description for my project, so I am going to do a little brainstorming.

Apprehensive -
Anxious or fearful that something bad or unpleasant will happen.

Trepidatious/Trepidation -
Apprehensive or nervous.

Restless -
Unable to rest or relax as a result of anxiety of boredom.

Uneasy -
Causing or feeling anxiety; troubled or uncomfortable.

Agitated -
Feeling or appearing troubled or nervous.

Fraught -
(of a situation or cause of action) filled with (something undesirable)

Fidgety -
Inclined to fidget; restless or uneasy.

Indecision -
Doubt concerning two or more possible alternatives or courses of action.
the trait of irresolution; a lack of firmness of character or purpose.

Fluctuation -
an irregular rising and falling in the number or amount; a variation.
(fluctuation of the mind)

tentative -
not certain or fixed; provisional.

Ambivalent -
having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about something or someone.

Irresolute -
showing or feeling hesitancy; uncertain.



Exit Velocity - Discussion

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We had a morning of discussing the Graduation Show & our online presence with Rosie.
These both helped me to not only see what everyone else has been doing, but give me more confidence that I am doing a good job with my online presence.

 I do a lot of outside experimentation & i find that it helps me be consistently creative throughout the year as well as documenting my life.
In terms of the Graduation Show, it really helped me as I am one of the only people using the space on a bigger scale. I want to have installation and photography, so it's a big interest in me as to what other people want to do with the space too.

We have had discussions on the possibility of using the KN studio as a make-shift cinema, and I think this is a good idea as I really didn't like W612 last year. Because it was packed, I had to watch films through heads, and also the room is blocked off from the rest of the university so I don't think we are reaching our audiences very well. 

I did possibly want to use the KN for my installation, but I can change and adapt my project for the benefit of the year if need be. We had discussions on me either using part of G03, or splitting the KN into a bigger and smaller part so that I can have my own space. I will need to think of the logistics of this, but I think this could work quite well. 

During this talk, I expressed an interest in becoming a curator for the Graduation Show. I think this would be really beneficial to me as I have a strong interest in the visual impact of the course, and also how we can bring in audiences and basically make our work look the best it can be. This also links with my work and how gallery based my own work is, so if I have a strong creative input into the outcome of the Graduation Show, I have a better sense of what it is I am working with on a personal level, and how it all fits in with everyone else's projects and outcomes. 

I am excited to draw maps and co-ordinate the show, I think that it is something I am really interested to fully get immersed in because the Graduation Show is such a big opportunity, and I think we need to utilize it the best we can! 

Reframing The Interface - Discussion & Tutorial

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After the discussion, I felt a lot more focused on what I need to achieve & what would work best for me. I realized that maybe it would be better to do lots of pilots of all the ideas I have, so that I can have a better understanding of them and then I can reflect on them and decide whether I want to pursue on a bigger scale. Then if I don't create them on a bigger scale, I at least have something to show for myself.
I also have some questions about See You Soon which me and Kathleen discussed, and i'm sure these will be further discussed through Kathleen, Rosie and my group. I need to really focus on what it is I am doing within the group, and just make sure that I am being directed properly because otherwise I feel more stressed and that's never good!


I wrote a lot of reflective notes during the discussion, I feel that it's good to write down what I feel when I feel it, because it's harder for me to think of my approach afterwards quite a lot. I also think it helps me feel more focused. Also in these notes are reflections on projects we were shown. A couple of them gave me little ideas for projects or concepts I like so wrote them down. 
Here are these notes (once again they are broken down because I usually work in short sentences.) -

See You Soon - 
Need to focus more on emotion of the film.
Rehearse before the film, like a play?
Running Machine?
House needs to be thought of element by element.

Personal -
Multi-screen could show my post production skills. Possibly do small versions of all my ideas so that I can focus on it more. 
So - Indecisiveness - me & just me with visuals. 
Nature - do the dawn light one morning.
& Depersonalisation.
Try to do each week/a small amount of time like the everyday vids because I sit on projects & doubt myself. If I make them & they don't feel right to do bigger, I would at least have the smaller projects done. So basically, create & don't sit on it. 
Also start with photography & decide if it's worth it.

if I am creating, it also gives me time to think about what I want. 

Could also do the soundscapes too.
Have done by Dec/Christmas.

Instead of worrying about what I come out with, just create & then evaluate what works for me. Not just uni for my portfolio, can make anything while I can.
So could even re-create stuff I did in the past if it would help.
Starlings could really be pushed to be more beautiful - sound, long shots. 
Think of more aspects of me for film and photos. Reflect on my life? My interests? My morals?

Learning Agreement - Analysing how I will achieve my goals.
If doing my own little projects, find out how much paperwork I will need - risk assessment etc. 
If doing small projects, do need research but will be developing alongside the practical so that I can sculpt a well rounded project.

What does my work mean to other people?

Could think of stylistic stories - Record Player, I love eras, memory of objects.
A room with sounds to show memories?
So instead of a montage, have a flowing story, like the competition. Inspired by the work in the V&A (need the name of it)
Grandma? Or someone to that degree.
Could consider music video or doing a piece to music I have composed.

Still would loveto do something era based, but simple because of the time I have & being on my own (could ask for help if anyone available) - Pride etc.
If historically based, it would be interesting to study.
Would give more relevence to the audience, but depends on what it is and how simple it would be.

Documentary can mean based on true events.

For See You Soon it would be good to be in contact with Jacob. But also do individual tests such as lighting - natural, how women's features look, inside etc. 
This means I would have things to show & add to my own body of work. 

Film on Autism, interviews with dodgy visuals. But good concepts. Works well as it is an interesting subject so just needed better visuals which I would focus on. (this is in reflection to my ideas based on interviews or conversations)


Idea - Indecisive/doubt - Multiscreen Installation

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This idea popped into my head just before bed, and it was a reflection on the comment about possibly doing work associated with being indecisive, and having thoughts of doubt and just feeling lost. 
I thought that this concept would be quite fun to work with because it's a very reflective piece of work, it's what I do a lot and it would be interesting to focus on it within art.

I've always been interested in multi-screen installation and I thought that this concept would work quite well with it.

I'm proposing a multi-screen installation showing the insides of someone's mind when they're being indecisive & unable to focus on one clear idea. The multi-screen will work as a way of showing the different elements of your mind in confrontation with each-other. I always feel like my brain is having an argument when I think of projects, and anything in life really. I do think it's associative wih my anxiety, but it's also a universal feeling that everyone experiences. It's the feeling of doubt, of being un-confident. I think it's something that would be understood well by the audience.
The description I have on my phone from when it did pop into my head in bed reads -

"Multi-screen installation based on interviews on people that have doubt/can never make up their minds. Screens will show the indecisive mind, different thoughts. But all work as one when focused."

I haven't decided whether I will actually interview and use the interviews in my work, or whether I will scope the creative and non-creative world interviewing people so that I can form a script or even poetic piece of writing to have as the narrative element of the piece.
It will work more like a structured piece, but the element of multi-screen will give the concept and emphasis of the theme another level. 

I have also thought about how the work will show more of my post-production skills. I am interested to know how I can piece together a multi-screen piece, and I know that in my finished work, the screens will be separate but work together to tell the story. 
In online versions, I want them to be in one line, so I will essentially have two versions, but one for distribution.

What I need to think about:

  • The concept a little more, and really define what the feeling of doubt can look like visually.
  • Think of the logistics of how I am going to interview people and how I will use their voices visually. 
  • The structure my installation will take in accordance with my year group & what they wish to put up at the graduation show. 
  • How I will technically achieve my project, and time manage how I will fit this in with my other commitments. 





Assessment

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I found the assessment to be a lot more calming then most of us. I have got quite used to presenting, even though i'm never perfect at it. I think it's because I know everyone & we're a pretty little group. I also know that I have a good relationship with my tutors, so will usually know what they are going to say before I present so try to make sure I fulfill everything I need to do.
I felt that the See You Soon presentation went better than the Individual, but this is purely because the See You Soon felt more academic. The individual was just me going on about my own doubt and thought processes. But I felt that I did a good job, and now I need to focus on the future.

General feedback/notes I took after -

See You Soon - Don't focus as much on sound, get someone else to focus on it?
If this happens, can focus on another project/personal.

They like depersonalisation, but could do in a beautiful way.
Could even do project on being indecisive - interview, abstract. Writing etc.
The struggles of anxiety and being a creative.
Discuss with Nathan/collab? (my housemate came up with a similar idea on not being able to come up with ideas)
Think of any other projects I can do, if possible. 
Speak to Alex about what I am doing and when. 
Contexualise photos more.

Now I need to focus on how my year will look, and then can reflect on this to decide how big my personal projects can be. I am interested in some other projects, but I want to be able to know what it is, how it will benefit me, and whether i can realistically do it while doing See You Soon.
I will contact the other people on the course that need crew and try and gain information from them. I also need to make sure that they are reliable & can work well with me.
I want to have a range of work, so some projects I am apprehensive about, but I will try to evaluate this when contacting them/sorting out everything.

While I am doing this, I will be focusing on my dissertation, and also trying to do little projects here and there. I do a lot of little bits of filming for Youtube, and after a quick chat post assessment with Rosie & Kathleen, I think producing little experiments will help me have a clearer view on what I might want to focus on in a personal project.
I also need to organise what & when I am photographing, if it is focusing on Christmas. I have desires to go back to Lincoln for the Christmas Fair, because I have personal connections, but it all depends on time management and why exactly I plan on going.
If i do this, I will contact the organisers of the fair just to make sure it is ok for me to photograph, and maybe even see if I can be part of the publicity (i can also do this for other events, I have a possible Charity Shop connection to this too)

Do I want to do this?

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I've found myself questioning whether I want to do an individual project. I definitely would if i'd had more time, and was more focused on an end goal before now. I want to be able to put 100% into each project, and really know that I have a well rounded theory and practice behind me for each project. At the moment, I am so behind on the individual, it seems like it might never go ahead.
I wish I could have more outcomes, but at the same time, why would I want quantity if i can't have quality?
I also am neglecting my dissertation, so I want to be able to focus fully on that between now and Feb. I am then focusing my attention straight onto See You Soon so i'm not sure where I can fit in a documentary.
I am still going to do photography as I know I can fit it in between projects, but it is sad if i can't do it.
I might see if i can collaborate with anyone else to put a little pressure off me, and help me to be more focused, but for now I am going to present my ideas I have had at the presentation, and ask for advice.
I just want to know i've done my best really.

C300 Induction

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We were inducted with the C300 on 4th November. I found it to be a very good experience in terms of getting to know the camera, but also working with my group. it was a fun exercise, and the focus pulling exercise we did the day after really opened my eyes onto how important it is, and how much I am going to have to practice!
I am glad that we were given a step by step process, it was really easy to go through, and when I had the go through with the camera, I slowly made sure I fully understood each step I was doing, so I was sure I felt confident with the camera. 
I'd still like to continue working with this camera with tests, especially with lighting and focus pulling. I think it's a really good camera and will serve us well on our project. 












Great Britain Shoot -

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We started our set build on 27th, firstly bringing the set panels into B32, and then attaching it to the wall by drilling pieces of wood so it could rest against the wall of the studio.
We went back to mine & Edrei's house to saw the wood (as we didn't want to cover the studio in dust), and we went to homebase to pick the colour of paint.
We then went back to the studio to fully paint the walls, firstly adding the tape to smooth out the gaps.











Part 2
Unfortunately, our set was taken down by Kathleen & Vicky before our shoot. The ripping of the wall didn't cause too much damage but the ink wouldn't come off, and the fact that we were already pushed for time made it really improbable that we could finish the project. It was still a very good learning experience, and showed that we could produce work to a strict deadline (even if we didn't submit)